My Dad's a Geek

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2011-07-16T15:29:00.002-04:00

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Bread Therapy

2010-10-03T08:43:00.003-04:00

The magic day came....and went and I'm still pregnant and uncomfortable. I've been so ready to have this baby for so long already but knew that it would have to be post-37 weeks gestation for me to be allowed the homebirth I've been hoping for this time. Last Tuesday marked the big day and while I felt a sense of relief and maybe even a little release (letting go doesn't always come all that naturally to me) nothing happened. So much for letting go.

I realize that I'm not even at my due date yet but the pregnancy is considered full term at 37 weeks. At a recent visit to my family doc she even pointed out that I could "go ahead and have that baby" any time after 36 weeks since the baby's lungs would be fully developed by then. So I wonder - if you're actually full term at 37 weeks, why isn't my due date Sept 28?!?! And if I can "safely" have the baby any time after 36 weeks, why do I still look like I'm about to rip open from the belly button? Even Caleb has noticed..."Mommy, the baby brother is FAT!" Thanks kid.

Needless to say, I'm not exactly the picture of a serene and calm, glowing mom-to-be. When anyone asks me if I "have any plans" for such and such a time I respond by saying "only if sitting around waiting for a baby to be born is plans." And that's really not far from the truth. I've tried hard in the last few days to actually make some plans (other than sitting around waiting expectantly) and planning to keep the plans I make. Deep down I think I'm doing it because I believe that if I make plans, maybe I'll jinx myself into going into labour. Ha ha! No you're not going to paint pottery, you're going to have a baby! No such luck so far...my friend is picking me up in a couple hours so I can go make something to add to my mug collection.

Aside from a few plans to do things outside the house, to fend of some of the anxiety and impatience I do things like take baths...at 1:00 in the afternoon. Or nap. Or clean. Or watch PVRed episodes of Grey's and Private Practice and try not to sob. Yesterday I was talking to my mom and complaining, as has become my habit this past week especially, about how with all these ongoing (endless, really) pre-labour symptoms I'm just ready to have this baby already. She lowered her voice a little conspiratorially and said "I'll tell you a secret; I'm not sure if you experienced this with Caleb since you were on bedrest and all. Right before you go into labour you're going to have a big burst of energy." My mom has shingles right now that are preventing her from coming to visit in time for the birth of her second grandson otherwise I probably would have responded in my usual-but-punched-up-by-hormones way and said something snarky about how everyone knows that and how not all pregnant women get the exact same signs of imminent labour. But I didn't. I figured the shingles are bad enough. I just sighed with resignation and pointed out that I had a big nesting-spree last week and was still waiting for the labour to show up.

I took a nap in the afternoon yesterday and woke up thinking about the dreadfully boring leftovers we were about to consume for dinner (why I planned a leftover night on Robin's night to cook I'm still not really sure about) and thought maybe I'd send Robin out to at least get a nice loaf of bread to have with it. Then I thought about the inevitable resistance to that idea and how, even if he did eventually agree to go, he'd come home with some kind of multigrain, flaxed-up version of the crusty white loaf I really wanted. So I decided to make bread. I find baking therapeutic and can usually find the necessary ingredients around the house to bake something when boredom strikes. I've been trying to avoid sweets lately though since all the hormones aren't exactly conducive to good self control so I haven't been baking much. I also find eating therapeutic. Funny how those things seem to go hand-in-hand so nicely. It crossed my mind that perhaps baking bread was my own version of my mom's predicted pre-labour burst of energy and as I sat eating the warm from the oven, dense white bread I waited for a sign. But no matter how much of that bread I ate (nearly the whole loaf) I just couldn't seem to coax a single contraction out of my stubborn uterus. Robin gently pointed out "you know, I don't think that filling your stomach with bread is going to bring on labour faster." Damn, now I'm desperate and obvious.

Still waiting...maybe making a new mug will help.

The Lobster's Not Sniffing Around

2010-08-12T10:06:00.007-04:00

At the beginning of July, Uncle Simon and Maria visited for a week and Maria had not had lobster before. Being good East-coasters and hosts, we (okay I, everyone else was at the Tattoo) obliged by preparing a big lobster supper to celebrate Canada Day. It was a busy day and I ran out of time to go and pick up the lobsters so I called and asked Jane - who was also coming for supper - if she could get them on her way here. So began the trauma. Lobsters kinda freak AJ out so after instructing the people at Fisherman's Wharf to "just pick them" while she stood by with her eyes squeezed tightly shut she requested that they be tied inside a plastic bag, in addition to the paper bag they were already in. Then she stashed them in the back of her CRV *just in case* they managed somehow to escape their paper-plastic bag prison and crawl into the front seat with her.

Miraculously, the lobsters and Jane arrived, unscathed, although perhaps emotionally scarred for life. Good thing those lobsters weren't going to have to suffer the repercussions for long...I can't say the same for AJ; she still seems a little disturbed by the whole thing. I removed the plastic bag (they are still alive at this point after all) and put them in the fridge. Caleb is really into opening the fridge and pulling things out these days and the lobsters were failing to provide any kind of deterrence from this behaviour. So I told him that he better leave the fridge door closed or else the lobsters were going to bite him. I know, I know. Aside from just being not a very nice thing to tell a toddler, this was bound to come back and bite me in the ass. Perhaps literally. But I was trying to make dinner people! You have to understand...the last thing I needed was mustard or lettuce or LOBSTERS all over my kitchen floor. You can see where this is going.

I boiled the water and went to the fridge to rescue the lobsters from their paper bag prison, only to boil them alive of course, but I don't think lobsters have reasoning or planning skills. At least I hope not. I picked up the bag, foolishly not realizing that, after containing 6 lobsters and being tied inside another plastic bag, the paper bag was wet through and not going to hold together for very long. I moved as quickly as possible from the fridge to the counter beside the stove but the squirmy lobsters managed to break through the bottom of the bag and only 3 of them made it onto the counter while the other 3 landed on the floor and began trying to make their escape. They were the liveliest bunch of lobsters I've ever tried to cook! At this point Caleb started screaming "the lobsters are trying to bite Mommy" over and over. Jane started screaming because of course she figured they were coming for her and I was yelling (probably using language that's not appropriate for the PG crowd), trying to pick the lobsters up off the floor using a pair of tongs and keep the others from jumping off the counter at the same time. Jane had taken Caleb and they were cowering in the laundry room, still screaming, and I managed to jam all 6 of those suckers into my stock pot and get the lid on. Barely.

Once things had calmed down and the lobsters were safely trapped in their new stainless steel prison, Caleb and Jane emerged from the laundry room. Caleb was still visibly freaked out. Almost as freaked out as he gets when the smoke detector goes off. He was pretty white, maybe a little green, and still trembling a bit. AJ was giggling nervously. I began apologizing to my poor, surely scarred for life child. "The lobsters weren't really trying to bite Mommy, it's okay"..."they have elastics on their claws, they can't hurt you"...Caleb just stood there looking skeptical. He checked out the floor. Lobster-free. "Where are the lobsters, Mommy?" "In the pot buddy, they're cooking, see?" (a few of the feelers were sticking out of the lid). "The lobsters aren't sniffing around, mommy." "No buddy, they're not." Sigh.

Yesterday we braved lobster again for Ranil, who was visiting from Toronto. He too had never had lobster. Robin insisted that we get just ONE - good idea. I got Ranil to distract Caleb a bit while I plunged the lobster to it's steamy death. He still noticed of course; nothing gets by that kid. When the lobster was cooked I put it on a plate up on the breakfast bar, a safe distance from Caleb and the floor. Caleb just stared. "That lobster's not sniffing around, Mommy." Nope. Apparently a month is not long enough for a 2 year old to forget.

Beans

2010-07-16T08:47:00.005-04:00

As garden-bean season approaches (the first sprouts of our belatedly planted green beans are now poking out of the ground) I'm reminded of the bean situation I created 2 years ago when I decided that it would be a fabulous idea to buy a bunch of green and yelllow wax beans locally, in-season to blanch and freeze for future consumption during the long winter months when fresh veggies are both not local and not cheap.

I worked it out that the end of local fresh veggies would be upon us sometime in Oct when the last of the broccoli would be cleared from the shelves of the The Vegetorium, our local country market, and wouldn't resume until the following April or May, optimistically. That's 6-7 months of paying too much for vegetables that have travelled farther than we did for our last 3 vacations put together. So I figured that we could reasonably eat beans once a week and that we'd probably cook and eat about a pound per meal (plus leftovers for lunch). I bought 30lbs of green and yellow beans for $85 (a steal since we normally pay $3.99/lb, even in the summer months). Maria at the Vegetorium gifted me with a copy of Bernardin's Complete Book of Home Preserving and I set about cleaning and dividing up my beans into one pound bunches. Then came the challenge of blanching them a pound at a time...I decided that using my large roasting pan would probably be the most effective medium and set up an overly complicated system in my kitchen that allowed me to blanch and bag all my beans for freezing in one very long afternoon.

With beans blanched and bagged I proudly placed all 30lbs in the chest freezer out in the garage to wait for Oct and the end of local broccoli.

Predictably, Oct arrived. The broccoli ended. I pulled the first of many bags of preserved green beans from the freezer, steamed them briefly and served them with satisfaction for dinner one evening. They were spongy (I bet you thought beans couldn't be spongy!) and limp and sad. The only thing I could think was "oh no, I have 29 more pounds of this...what. am. I. going. to. do?!??!" Well, there was nothing to do. One does not waste $85 of beans...so we ate them. I baked them in casseroles, with nuts, in salads. They were terrible each time and took away from what would have otherwise been lovely dishes. I won't be blanching and freezing any more vegetables in bulk, ever.

This year I think I'll try some preserves. That same year I made peach salsa which was a huge success! Maybe I can do something with tomatoes since they're so friggin expensive through the winter...

Summer Trip to Ontario, 2010 Edition

2010-07-15T08:08:00.015-04:00

Back at the beginning of June we went to Ontario for my dad and Mary Ellen's wedding and to visit with family and friends. It was a good trip, although it's proving to be les-than-relaxing to fly with Caleb than it once was. Robin suggested that taking the train (a 16+ hour trip) one time might be much better...I told him to go ahead and I'd fly on my own and meet them there :P Dad's and their delusions...sheesh.

Some highlights from the trip:

The wedding - June 6, 2010

Dad and Mary Ellen have been together for 11 years now and last year decided to "make it official" by tying the knot on the 11-year anniversary of their first date. It's pretty typical of my dad to take 10 years to get around to doing something :) While Mary Ellen's been family to me (and us) for a long time now, it was wonderful to share this special day with them. Caleb particularly enjoyed (besides all the attention) the horse drawn carriage ride, which he did not tire of, even after the third time. And if it looks like Lori, Tina and I planned to wear matching dresses, it's not at all a coincidence. Both the dress I'm wearing and the one Tina is wearing are actually mine and I picked Lori's out. So it's all my fault...but we looked pretty cute I think.

Hanging out at Nana and Papa's

Caleb got to spend lots of time with Nana and Papa - we visited their house a couple times and he stayed over night on Wednesday so that Mom and Dad could enjoy a nice evening out together. We ate at The Riverhouse Company in Lakefield, which makes my top 5 for most enjoyable meals I've ever eaten. So if you ever find yourself in Lakefield, ON with a hankering for a really fantastic meal, go there. Meanwhile, Caleb had a super-fun time at Nana and Papa's playing in Papa's boat, wading in the river, chasing around Max and Jenna, visiting with his aunties, and (gasp) riding around on the ATV.

The Farm

We visited my dad and Mary Ellen up at the farm later in the week. The weather wasn't great, so Caleb did not get to be the first swimmer in their new pool but he did enjoy a very exciting tractor ride, meeting the cows (which he didn't like so much) and horses ("Mom, they're smelling something!!") and a nice visit with Grandpa and Grandma.

Hanging Out With Mom and Dad
We gots lots of time together too...hanging out at the cottage mostly. On Monday, my friend Shelley made the drive from Courtice for a visit and later in the week the 3 of us went to the Peterborough Zoo - one of my favourite things to do growing up - and checked out the animals and cried a little because we couldn't ride the train (that was me, not Caleb - he was happy looking at it). Caleb even braved the giant slide at the zoo's playground, which in retrospect seemed way longer when I was a kid :P

Grandma's House
We spent the last few days of our trip in Ottawa at Grandma Stewart's house. She organized a brunch at Kristy's (the restaurant where we told her she was going to be a Grandma the first time) with Robin's extended family. It was great to see everyone as it had been quite some time since we'd seen many of them. Some hadn't seen Caleb since he was a very small baby! Grandma, Daddy and Caleb spent lots of time playing at the park (while Mommy begrudgingly worked on an assignment for school).

With summer vacation in Ontario 2010 behind us, we arrived home to host some visitors (Auntie Tina, then Uncle Simon and Maria) and prepare for our real (i.e. quiet, relaxing) vacation to PEI a few weeks later...

It’s a Boy!

2010-06-28T10:01:00.004-04:00

Here in NS when you have an ultrasound that’s not conducted on the mysterious “7th Floor” of the IWK (where they do ultrasounds for at-risk women) they will not tell you the gender of the baby. Even if the baby displays the goods plainly for oh, say the entire 15 minutes the tech is trying to get a good image of the lumbar spine. But that didn’t happen to anyone I know. So if you don’t have complications with your pregnancy and want to know the sex of your baby, you must go to a private clinic where you can pay a ridiculous amount of money to find out. I could have had really nice new shoes…or dinner out at a fancy restaurant…or paid for about 1% of the cost of paving the stupid driveway…I must have presented a compelling argument because Robin agreed to do it. So we went on Sat to UC Baby where 3D images of my unborn child were projected onto a 32 inch flat screen tv positioned in front of a massive micro-suede sectional and the ultrasound table that was adorned with a quilted feather bed – now that’s what I call “for her comfort”. It was creepy. But we got to find out to that we’re having another son and Caleb will have a little brother. And now we can negotiate over just one name instead of two. Thank goodness for that.

Caleb was pretty interested in the whole thing for about 3 ½ minutes until he got bored and started pulling all the toys out of the bucket and yanking blank CDs down off the shelves. I think this was easier the first time around when all the babies were safely contained in the comfort of my uterus. But then later when I was putting him to bed he asked to see the belly and wanted to say goodnight to his unborn brother. “Mommy, the baby’s not borned yet.” “Nope, not yet but you can still talk to him if you want.” “Want to kiss the baby goodnight Mommy.” Awww. He’s going to be a good big brother…as long as his little brother doesn’t try to steal his snacks.

Party Animal

2010-05-25T08:40:00.004-04:00

We went to a birthday party for 2 of Caleb's friends on Saturday. Lots of kids, lots of fun, lots of presents...Caleb decided to take a break from all the excitement to rest on one of the giant balloons (that the other kids were throwing and kicking and bouncing around). No idea where he gets this behaviour from....

And then there was lots of cake. Caleb seems to be waiting not very patiently for his piece of cake here. I'm not sure what was happening but I do know that he does not understand the concept of "wait". After getting his cake he promptly wolfed it down and began demanding more green Smarties. Maybe I see some bribing with Smarties for potty training in our future (that's how my mom trained me!). :)

Pet Names

2010-05-13T06:30:00.002-04:00

Is it wrong that the guy at the Tim Horton's drive-thru window calls me "sweetie" every morning? I kinda figured it was just a habit or something and didn't really think much of it other than "well that's kind of a nice way to start the day" and "perhaps I should consider leaving a tip occasionally after all". (I still don't get this tipping at the drive-thru window thing, maybe it's just east-coasters?" Or maybe I'm just an ass.) Then this morning he called me "sweetie" when he handed me my change, again when he handed me my coffee and THEN, when he handed my breakfast sandwich (I did have time to make breakfast at home, okay?!) he called me "babes". I think that's crossing the line. Which begs the question: when considering the drive-thru guy's pet names for customers where is the line? Is there a line?

Perhaps buying food qualifies you for the next level of affectionate reference. Perhaps it's sarcasm. Or maybe he could just see down my top. Come to think of it, that's probably why he always uses the top portion of the drive-thru window - so he's looking down at me! I think I'll start making my coffee (and my breakfast) at home from now on.

Lessons in French Pastries

2010-03-25T07:35:00.006-04:00

WAY back before we left Toronto I convinced Robin to let me buy a marble cutting board and rolling pin, insisting that it would aid greatly in all the french pastry making I would be doing (this was shortly after he gifted me with my very own copy of Baking with Julia). We struck a deal and my end of the bargain was to produce homemade croissants within 10 days of the purchase of my new toys. I was only about 1500 days late (a new record in procrastination I believe) but a couple weekends ago I finally made Robin his croissants. I used neither the marble cutting board - made obsolete by my granite counters - nor the rolling pin which has long since lost its handles and was replaced by the closest thing I expect to ever have to a French rolling pin - my classy Wilton fondant rolling pin. Nevertheless, croissants I made. And they were good. But not easy.

I started out making the croissant dough on Friday night; I didn't have live active yeast so I hauled out my copy of On Food and Cooking and looked up an approximate conversion from live active to dry active yeast (okay, I made Robin get it out and look it up…and do the math), threw all the other requisite ingredients into the bowl of my Kitchenaid, crossed my fingers and began kneading. Or watching the Kitchenaid knead…whatever. After 5 long minutes trying to keep my stand mixer from throwing itself off the counter I removed the dough from the bowl, wrapped it securely in several layers of plastic wrap (Julia claims that even the tiniest bit of air would form an unwanted skin on my precious dough) and placed it in the fridge to rest and, hopefully, double overnight. Next, I got out the butter. Man, there’s a lot of butter in croissants. The butter preparation was much more straightforward than the dough and I had all the necessary ingredients on hand. Beaten, formed into a disk and wrapped just as securely in plastic as the dough, I placed the butter in the fridge alongside my dough.

The next morning I opened the fridge door and gleefully examined my relaxed, expanded dough. Take that Julia and your not-to-be-substituted-live-active-yeast! And so with risen, relaxed dough I began the “turns”; three to be exact. You roll out the dough into a huge rectangle, slap the butter in the middle, wrap the dough around it and roll it out (carefully!) again. Fold the dough-butter into a wallet (??), wrap and refrigerate for another couple hours. Repeat. And again.

By then it was Sunday morning and I wanted to eat these damn things already. I got up early (I wanted to eat them for breakfast, not dinner), retrieved the dough-butter from the fridge and began the final pre-baking steps. Caleb was awake too and wanted to help – the pics below show him nearly expertly rolling out his own little bits of dough. He ate them before I could get them in the oven though so there are no miniature finished croissants, although that would have been really cute. Rolled out the dough again, cut, folded, unfolded, cut out triangles, stretched, stuffed, rolled, applied egg wash, rest for 4 hours. Wait – 4 hours?! Crap. I shamelessly skipped this step; in my world, on day 3 of anything that takes that long I do not typically apply diligence and strict adherence to arcane cultural baking rules that are called for. Even when it’s Julia Child giving the instructions. I decided “screw it” and put them in the oven after a mere 20 minutes. And I DID NOT regret it. I got to eat my croissants for breakfast, they were flaky yet dense, buttery and delicious and Robin didn’t even complain that it took 4 years for me to make them.

Read This One

2010-02-22T07:23:00.002-05:00

Caleb LOVES being read to and all of us - me, Robin, Lori, Aunty J, Uncle (when he's around) indulge him many, many times a day. He must be getting bored of Sandra Boynton and Dr. Seuss though because his newest interest has been in the newspaper and, less frequently, magazines.

Feed Me

2010-02-19T06:40:00.004-05:00

I know that people think I'm totally exaggerating when I tell them that Caleb is a big eater. I get it, how much food can an almost 2-year old really eat, right? Some days the volume of food this kid consumes makes me feel a little queasy - both from shear disbelief over how much he's shoving in his face and anticipating it's inevitable elimination later and from worrying that, if this is what I have to feed him now, will we have to remortgage the house to feed him when he's a teenager?!

I don't know if it was the excitement over having me home for a snow day or the extra energy he's been using up now that he can crawl and hobble around on his cast but he was having an extra-hungry day on Wednesday. I submit to you Exhibit A: Breakfast, 8:30am - 1 1/2 waffles, an egg, 1/2 pear, milk. This is a pretty typical breakfast for him. Exhibit B: Snack #1, 10am - he started asking for grapes; halfway through the huge bowl I gave him (about 1C of grapes sliced) he asked for some cheese. I obliged. Exhibit C: Snack #2, 11am - Aunty Lori came upstairs to have her own breakfast/lunch. Seeing the tasty roast beef wraps, Caleb obviously wanted some (he spent 15 minutes chewing through half of one of them):

After all this I thought for sure he wouldn't eat much lunch. Wrong again. He ate a very normal lunch of tortellini, 1/2 an avocado, and beans. I stopped keeping track after that...

Banged Up

2010-02-16T16:58:00.004-05:00

One in a Row

2010-02-08T10:10:00.000-05:00

This post would be more appropriate around the time of our anniversary, but with Valentine’s Day approaching I figured it was timely enough. And even if it isn’t, this is my blog and I can write what I want. Right?

A couple weeks ago Craig Cardiff was in town playing a small venue called The Company House. Last year when Craig was in Halifax we missed him because Robin failed to purchase tickets in advance like he was supposed to and we missed out; we were excited to have the opportunity to make up for that. Craig provided the musical entertainment at our wedding on Sept 3, 2006 – Labour Day weekend. We planned an outdoor wedding at my Dad’s cottage with absolutely no back-up plan in the event of unseasonable weather. We had a tent to protect guests from potential rain but none of us ever imagined that it would be a very crisp 12 degrees Celsius on a traditionally very warm weekend of the year. I’m not sure exactly who invited Tropical Storm Ernesto to our wedding, but it wasn’t me. Inclimate weather aside, it was really special for us to have Craig play at our wedding because one of our first dates was to a Craig Cardiff show where, in a folk music induced trance, I swooned over Robin and decided that I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It only took Robin another 2 years to decide he shared my sentiments. Our favourite Craig Cardiff song is Judy Garland, which we requested and he played at our wedding. I think it must not be one of Craig’s favourites though because we’ve requested it a couple since then at shows and he NEVER plays it. Heartbreaking. The Jan 24 show at The Company House was no exception and despite Robin’s shouted request from our table directly in front of the stage, the show ended without us holding hands across the table as we listened to the song that first we fell in love to. Okay not really, but we were mildly disappointed all the same.

A few days after the show I was driving home from work (late, as usual – see previous post) and I stopped into Sobey’s for something (not shortening this time) and as I was backing out of my parking space, the regular “One in a Row” spot came on CBC Radio One. I actually don’t normally listen to Radio One, Robin does. I listen to a mainstream, mind-numbing pop station. I guess I was feeling a little mentally under-stimulated that week, or perhaps I was still feeling guilty over the whole not-hearing-about-the-Haiti-earthquake-for-2-days-because-I-never-listen-to-any-reliable-news-sources thing or maybe it was my Spidey-sense; whatever it was, I was listening that day. The host started reading an email request from “Robin Stewart from Fall River” for Judy Garland by Craig Cardiff. His email went on at length about how Craig played at our wedding, why the song is special to us and ended with a little “this is a song that will warm up even the chilliest days” – she read the whole thing. They couldn’t find Judy Garland (what is it with that song?) but played something else by Craig. The song ended just as I was pulling into the driveway at home, kinda teared up a little, I’ll admit. Robin’s not the most romantic of husbands but he certainly has his moments. Never mind that it probably never crossed his mind that I’d be listening or that he made the request the previous week, intending it to be a plug for Craig’s show, I’ll take the romance when I can get it.

A Lesson in the 3Ps – Planning, Punctuality and Perspective

2010-02-02T08:56:00.001-05:00

After leaving work 15 minutes later than planned, stopping at my aunt’s house to help her position and connect her new TV, and hopping back in the car to head home in time to whip up a batch of Class Buttercream Icing and (hopefully) have something to eat before leaving (on time) for Day 1 of Wilton Cake Decorating Course 3. Jody picks me up for our cake class and she really hates being late. In fact, she’s one of those people who shows up AT LEAST 15 minutes early for everything; one of those self-proclaimed “annoyingly early people”. At least she’s self-aware, but so am I. If I were playing the if-you-could-pick-one-word-to-describe-me game no one, not one single person who has ever met me for any reason, would say “punctual”. I’m not punctual, I know that. Most of the time I’m not even “fashionably late”…just annoyingly late. It’s not that I don’t respect other peoples’ time…I just demonstrate poor management of my own. I was late for my interview the first time I met my current boss. Anyway, I’ve digressed.

So here I am in the car, headed home at 4:35pm. Jody will be at my house at 5:50pm; she said 6:00 but I know better. The traffic report announces that commuters are experiencing the “usual delays” across the city, including the ramp detour on the 102 at the new Larry Uteck interchange. Crap, that’s me. Now my usual 23 minute commute is probably going to take 30 minutes and I really NEEDED that extra 7 minutes to stop at the grocery store to pick up shortening. Because not only have I not made the Class Buttercream Icing in advance, I don’t even have all the ingredients. Things are looking bleak for getting to class on time on Day 1. Marilyn already shoots us a reprimanding scowl every week when we show up 2 minutes after class has started...I can sometimes feel Jody’s blood pressure rising. Marilyn shares Jody’s values on the topic of timeliness, has low tolerance for lateness (or even non-earliness) and isn’t afraid to make you feel bad about it. It’s a good thing I can make her laugh, otherwise I’m pretty sure should would have kicked me and my $22.50 out of Cake Decorating 101 by now.

Stay with me, here comes the point of the story: I get to the detour, the car in front of me is slowing down…a lot...in the car beside me the guy looks like he’s going to have a seizure because he wants so badly to get around the slow car in front of him but the slow car in front of me is keeping both of us at a 60km/hr crawl. The visibly anxiety of the guy next to me is starting to make me feel anxious and I start having flashbacks to my commuting days in TO when if the traffic report announced that commuters were experiencing delays, I knew in the best case scenario my 1:15 commute would probably take closer to 2 hours and I wasn’t making it home in time for dinner, and in the worst case scenario I might be better off pulling over and sleeping in my car then driving back to work from wherever I was in the morning. As I approached the detour at the construction zone the car in front of me pulled into the right lane; there was no one in front of him. Apparently “the usual delays” were really just caused by having to slow down to 80km/hr from 100km/hr in the construction zone. The Haligonian definition of “delay” never ceases to give me an appreciation for the power of perspective. I cannot tell you how happy I am that my commute can no longer be described using words like “401”, “Across the Top of the City”, or even “Express” or “Collector”…

With those 7 precious minutes reclaimed, I rushed into the grocery store to get my shortening and made it home in time to make the Class Buttercream Icing, clean up, change, play with Caleb a little and have all my stuff waiting at the door for Jody’s arrival. We made it to class before Marilyn, but not in time to get seats next to each other (!!!), and so Day 1 of Course 3 ended (mostly) happily ever after.

Choo Choo!

2009-12-28T16:19:00.004-05:00

Nana and Papa Phaure gave Caleb some trains for Christmas...

And Grandma and Grandpa Buhlman gave him a train table to put them on...

18 Month Check-up - Stats

2009-10-05T09:32:00.009-04:00

We took Caleb for his 18 month well baby check up last week. Everything looks good - he's walking and talking and growing as expected. He's 86.5cm (34") long, 12.22kg (27lbs) and his head is 47cm (18.5"). His height to weight ratio has progressed from the first percentile at birth to the 49th percentile...so basically he's starting to look less like his dad and more like his mom :P

Caleb has about 15 words and another 10 or so signs that he uses consistently and in the right context...he's picking up more every day but STILL (to my continued disappointment) has not managed "mommy". Robin is "deeda" and thanks to Aunt Jane's efforts he's now got "nana" down, just in time for a visit to Ontario to see her. He's very outgoing around adults and always eager to impress and entertain but is much more reserved and shy around other kids. Robin is taking him on Saturday mornings to Kindermusik, where the ages of the kids range from 18 months to 3 years, making him among the youngest in the group. He stands to the side (often sucking his thumb) waiting for his turn to participate. He loves music and dancing (signs music and says "dance") and seems to really enjoy the class, but we think just needs to feel a little more sure of himself around other children before he'll take part on his own. It's only been 3 weeks so far, hopefully he'll gain some confidence and show some more independence in the coming weeks.

Helping Dad out in the yard...

Playing on his new slide...

Hanging out in the pool with pal, Jack...

Hanging out in the pool with Aunty J...

He's a very helpful little guy...mopping the floor for mom, then having a cuddle with dad....

Caleb's Maggie impersonation...

Riding the Waterloo Dark boar...and showing us all why he's starting to look more like mommy than daddy!

Pictou Wedding

2009-09-07T08:10:00.020-04:00

We were invited to the wedding (on Aug 1) of a good friend from Robin's youth that was being held at the Pictou Lodge in Pictou, about an hour and a half drive from Fall River. We decided to make a nice weekend away out of it. For anyone considering visiting Nova Scotia I think Pictou is a must-stop! It's really lovely little town and the Pictou Lodge turned out to provide more than just adequate accommodations. For one thing, the accommodations were more than adequate, but there was also so much to do at the resort for adults and younguns alike.

There was a great park and life-sized chess set to play with:

We had a beautiful view from our cottage:

The wedding was really unique and the ceremony was beautiful. Both the bride and groom are musicians (flutist and percussionist, respectively) and they played a piece as part of the ceremony. Caleb was mesmerized. After the ceremony the wedding party picked up various instruments and began to lead a little parade. All the guests had pop cans filled with rice under their seats, meant for joining in:

Dancing and enjoying the reception. Caleb made many new friends and was far too busy entertaining everyone to realize it was way past his bedtime:

On Sunday we had some time to play in the ocean (Caleb's first time!) and enjoy a delicious brunch buffet before heading home:

Out and About at Home in NS

2009-08-29T14:15:00.007-04:00

Besides traveling and weddings, we've been up to a fair bit this summer on the weekends. The weather hasn't always been seasonal (except for the past few weeks) but we've enjoyed a lot of what there is to do around Halifax and home, in Fall River.

Greek Fest is a big deal in these parts and, having lived in Greece for a while, Lori was anxious for the nostalgia the event would provide and to share some of her favourite Greek-isms to Caleb.

Neither the teddy bear balloon animal nor the clown fashioning it were particularly Greek, but Caleb enjoyed this treat:

Double forking it while enjoying some of Auntie's favourite Greek fare:

At Taylor Park between our house and friend Jack's house:

I played rugby this year for the first time since (apparently semi-) retirement back in 2004. I played with a team that's local to Fall River called Riverlake and had a fun time, despite being 8 or 9 years older than my next oldest teammates. We didn't do much winning, or even much scoring, but it was satisfying to give one more year to the sport. I'm now quite certain that my body is too old for such an aggressive sport. Perhaps next summer I'll find a nice soccer team or something.

Out supporting mommy at a rugby tournament:

Getting used to walking on uneven ground (he's an old pro by now):

A visit to the beach with Auntie and mom, near our house at Windsor Junction Community Centre:

Celebrating Jack's second birthday. I think this is a funny picture because it looks like Izzy sharing something super-important with Caleb and Jack over cake:

Checking out what Jack's Nanny and Borris (the dog) are up to down in the backyard:

The tall ships came to Halifax this summer and it was a pretty big deal. We took at Saturday to go check out some of the festivities and board a few of the ships. Jody, Brian and Jack came with us and we really lucked out weather-wise because the whole rest of that weekend was rainy and foggy.

Tall Ships 2009, with Jody, Brian and Jack:

Just plain funny:

Auntie Tina's Wedding in Ontario

2009-08-29T12:32:00.007-04:00

Again this year we spent our summer vacation in Ontario and this year we had the added fun of being there for my sister Tina's wedding on June 27. The trip was a little shorter than we had planned since I went back to work on June 1 to a new job and didn't think it would be appropriate to take 2 weeks off after only 2 weeks of working, nor did I really feel the need for a vacation just yet! The wedding was beautiful and we had a chance to spend some time with lots of family and friends.

The vacation begins...on the road from Ottawa to Peterborough:

Sitting with Grandma during the ceremony:

Taking a break with mom in the shade:

Giving Auntie Tina our congratulations (isn't she pretty?):

He was so good all through dinner and the speeches...he spent some time with everyone...
Uncle Jeffrey and Grandma:

His cousins (my cousin Ted's kids) Liam and Ethan:

Tina's wedding cake that I made:

Showing cousin Emma how this eating this is done:

Back at the cottage we invited friends to visit on Sunday...

Having some lunch with Alexis and her mommy (Suzanne):

We saw lots of other friends that day too but I just got too busy to keep taking pictures of everyone :S

At the end of a long day taking a bath. My mom used to bath Tina in the sink at the cottage too (back then it was a laundry tub though!) and this picture reminds me of one I know I have of Tina somewhere...

Monday we took a quick trip to Toronto to visit a few people...

Meeting Charlie for the first time and hanging out with his mom (Madeleine):

Visiting and having a snack with Hannah...

...and Autumn:

Meeting Ava for the first time (and visiting mom's friends Melissa and Jeff):

Pooped:

Last day in Peterborough, checking out Papa's boat:

Swinging with Nana and Papa on the deck:

Back in Ottawa, visiting Molly, Fred, Nick & Etienne:

And eating their sand:

We spent 5 very busy days there together and then the boys stayed on in Ottawa to visit with friends and family while I returned home to go back to work. This also conveniently provided the perfect opportunity to bring a bittersweet end to nursing.

Caleb's First Steps

2009-07-12T13:01:00.006-04:00

Caleb has been cruising for months and spent our entire trip to Ontario recently (for Auntie Tina's wedding) insisting on holding onto someone's finger while walking around. Mostly Grandma's finger, all through the halls of her condo building I hear, but I didn't stick around long enough to see it for myself :( On Saturday, after picking up Robin and Caleb from the airport, I was making dinner and Caleb must have been really excited about the food (wonder where he gets that?!) and forgot himself to take a couple steps towards me (and the food) on his own.

We couldn't get him to go it again but on Wednesday after work I got home and he was going after the flowers that were on the kitchen table. I put the flowers on the floor and grabbed the video camera (it's Auntie Lori behind the camera!) and sure enough, he walked right for them. After so many months of "practice" we knew there'd be no stopping him once he was ready to let go...

I Love GroBaby!

2009-07-07T11:19:00.002-04:00

I have lots of different types of cloth diapers - flats, fitteds, pockets, AIOs; commercially made, WHAM-made...you name it. From newborn through toddlerhood my favourite has been the BumGenius 3.0 OS pocket, mostly because it has fit Caleb really well at all stages, has never once leaked and is easy to use/wash. I'm always on the lookout for new and interesting cloth diapering options though and I follow Autumn Beck's blog All About Cloth Diapers and clicked through to the Cloth Diaper Superstore to look at the new BumGenius Organic OS AIOs and found these.

My new GroBaby diaper system arrived about a week later and has since surpassed the BumGenius 3.0 as my all-time favourite cloth diaper. They fit great, look adorable, don't leak AND (possibly best of all) I can switch out the snap in insert and keep using the shell as long as it isn't soiled. I really couldn't ask for much more...there must be some enterprising cloth diaper enthusiast working on a self-cleaning model, no?

I will say that I've had a hard time teaching anyone else (babysitter, husband, auntie...regardless of how often they change diapers) how to use this system. The shell inevitably ends up in the diaper pail after only one (non-soiled) use and I end up with clean inserts and no shells. Perhaps GroBaby could produce a nice instruction card that could be posted on the side of my clean diaper basket for the less cloth diaper savvy users in my house :)

Pic of Caleb in his Kiwi GroBaby to follow...

Adventures in the Laundry Basket and Other Fun Times

2008-12-19T15:40:00.004-05:00

Some more random pictures:

Caleb sporting his new wool diaper cover. I'm not nuts about this one, but it's super cute. For a while there was no place that he was happier than sitting in the laundry basket filled with his toys. Hours of quiet enjoyment. It made me laugh when he would suddenly disappear below the edge of the basket because he was leaning over in search of the next toy he wanted to chew on. Then he'd sit up with gusto, holding the selected toy up like a prize. So. Cute. Did I mention how much this kid loves to eat? That's blueberries all over his face, and he's loving every second. The last pic is of him in one of his sleeping sacks. I made this one...it's fleece camo.

Ladies' Man:

Kisses for Hannah...kisses for Autumn...hmmm he seems to really like Alexis :P The other day he offered me a kiss for the first time. I usually have to ask and even then he'll only do it if he feels like it. But the other day he was sitting on my lap and turned to grab my face with both hands and then just planted one (a very slobbery one!) on my cheek. What a sweetheart!

These were taken during our recent trip to Ontario to celebrate Christmas with my family. Tina's fiance, Scott, was home from Afghanistan for 3 weeks, so we decided to celebrate early while he could be with us. We stayed in Ottawa with Robin's mom most of the time and made a couple of short side-trips to Eaganville (where Tina and Scott live) and Peterborough/Stouffville. The picture on the left is Caleb with Robin's mom, the middle is him playing with some of his new loot, and on the right hanging out with Magg.

One day while shopping in a store in Bedford called Bump, Baby & Beyond, I got talking to the girl that was working and one thing lead to another...and well she invited me to her playgroup :) I've really enjoyed getting to know some other moms and especially the small group of moms and babies that live in our little area of the HRM. In the pics above we're at a "mini-playdate" at Lily and Landen's house.

Corn Maze, Halloween & Kindermusik

2008-12-11T11:03:00.005-05:00

In the early fall, we spent one Saturday afternoon visiting a farm in Truro called Riverbreeze. The main attraction is a 12 acre corn maze; I should have guessed that navigating the maze would be some kind of exercise in logic theory :P We also enjoyed a wagon ride out to the pumpkin and sunflower patches and even came home with some farm-fresh meat.

Mommy & Caleb navigating the corn maze under Daddy's careful instruction, Daddy & Caleb on the wagon ride, and Caleb selecting his sunflower to take home.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Robin and I had fun carving our pumpkins. We decided that from left to right the represent me, Robin & Caleb...I'm not sure how I ended up being the crazy spider but the middle one definitely resembles Robin!

We took Caleb out Trick or Treating to a couple of our neighbour's houses; he was less than thrilled. He didn't mind his little jack-o-lantern bib and really enjoys that little flashing soccer ball that Uncle Riley gave him.

Caleb dressed up as the Frog Prince. My mom always made our Halloween costumes when I was a kid so I decided that I should do the same for Caleb. It was A LOT of work and certainly didn't save me any time (I stayed up until 2am one night working on it!) or money, but in the end I think it was worth it to say I made his first Halloween costume for him (there are feet that go with the rest of the outfit, but they weren't finished yet when this picture was taken).

On Thursday mornings we go to Kindermusik. It's a lot of fun and Caleb really seems to enjoy the singing and dancing and interacting with other babies. He LOVES Miss Louise! The picture above is a class photo (obviously taken the week of Halloween) and one with Miss Louise. In the new year we're taking a Sign & Sing class with her that I'm really looking forward to.

Catching Up

2008-12-10T14:33:00.008-05:00

Almost everyday I think to myself at some point "I should update our blog". It's like the thing with the dishes: in University I lived with my wonderful friend Sarah in a basement apartment near campus. Neither of us particularly liked to do the dishes and, on a couple of occasions that I'm mildly embarrassed to recall, it became something of test of our determination to wait the other out. The dishes began piling up in the sink...onto the counter...and eventually, when there was no more space on the counter, the floor. I vividly remember, as if it were yesterday, sitting at our tiny kitchen table across from each other, eating out of empty margarine containers because there were no more clean plates or bowls. I think Chris (her now-husband) settled the issue by washing the dishes himself! The point is that my inclination to do something is directly and inversely related to the amount of time I spend putting off doing it. And that, my dear friends, is why it has been more than 4 months since I updated our blog.

It'll probably take a few posts to get caught up but here's the start of a quick recap:

Melissa and Jeff came to visit at the end of August for a few days. Caleb and I took them to see Peggy's Cove on one of the days and the pics above are of Melis, Caleb and I standing in front of the lighthouse at Peggy's Cove and Caleb and I on the rocks.

Daryl came to visit at the end of September. He brought Caleb and Marlie's jersey that he'll probably be able to wear in 3 or 4 years :) Before the weather got colder, I tried to get Caleb outside for some playtime each day so one day, Daryl and I decided that we'd take him out to play soccer. It was a lot fun! The ball is going away from Caleb's head in the picture of me holding him, but because he headbutted it! (it's a baby-sized ball). The last pic is of Caleb sitting in front of his tree. We planted this tree in honour of Caleb's birth...Caleb is growing at a much faster rate than the tree.

We decided when we got home from our vacation to the cottage in Ontario that Caleb was ready to get his first taste of solid food. He was able to sit up on his own, was grabbing at our food and had recently started "air-chewing" while we were eating! This is his very first taste of anything other than breastmilk (it's rice cereal). He is, hands-down, the most enthusiastic eater I've ever seen in a child his age; he does come by this tendency honestly of course.

In early October, we went to the Windsor Pumpkin Festival where they have a tradition of growing giant pumpkins. The giant pumpkins are entered into some kind of pumpkin contest and, once the winner has been determined, the pumpkins are hollowed out to create boats. The boats are then decorated and paddled across the lake in a race. It was one of the most ridiculous events I've ever witnessed but it was so much fun. One racer's pumpkin sank halfway through the race and he continued paddling from underwater to finish the race...that's determination!

Riley got into med school at Dal very last minute in Aug so he moved in with us. It was great having him around for company but also because he didn't mind watching Caleb so Robin and I could go out for walks in the evening and even out for dinner a couple times! One day while I was working Riley was watching Caleb in the late afternoon. I came down to make dinner and found them on the couch taking a nap together- very cute. Caleb has enjoyed being Riley's baby-model for some of the pediatric aspects of his course-work, and doesn't mind being the butt of a joke once in a while - that's a surgical mask on his head.

More later....

Nana & Papa Wuz Here (July 2008)

2008-08-01T15:37:00.016-04:00

My mom and Ian were here visiting for a couple weeks and we got up to all kinds of trouble. Especially my mom, who I ended up taking to the emergency room so that she could get 6 stitches to put her hand back together after a run-in with the scissors while she was making some curtains for Caleb's "big boy" room. While my mom sewed curtains and pillows, hemmed pants, and stitched holes in clothing that should have been fixed long ago Ian busied himself painting the nursery and the room Caleb will have when he's a little older. One afternoon he came out of the "green" room snickering to himself and showed my mom a picture on the camera of a little message he had left for Caleb:

So cute (and yes, I know it's very green). My mom was disappointed that he'd already painted over it so she didn't get to see it...but when he's older, Caleb will always know it's under there.

We didn't do much in the way of tourist-y things while they were here (we kept them too busy painting and sewing!) but did manage a day downtown Halifax so that Ian could go on the Alexander Keith's brewery tour...what can I say, it's a popular activity among our out-of-town guests! For the most part we really just hung out and enjoyed regular, every day things together. I did not manage to get my mom hooked on my weekday morning ritual of watching Crossing Jordan, but did take full advantage of my being distracted to teach Caleb all kinds of things. In particular, she helped him find his voice. He hasn't stopped since she left and some days I can barely get a word in edgewise! In this little clip he's not chatting as enthusiastically as he does sometimes, but it's still pretty cute:

Nana took lots of pics of Caleb smiling and making goofy faces. It's amazing how many hours one can be entertained by a little baby.

Nana and Papa of course spent lots of time holding and cuddling Caleb. He looks pretty content with the whole situation.

While he was here, Ian had a special meal request...he warned us that he wasn't really sure that he was a big fan, but would like to try some fresh Nova Scotia lobster. Robin happily obliged and, on their last day here, went out to pick up "Simon" and "Rosie". For those who don't know, Robin isn't exactly a goofy kind of guy. His sense of humour is very dry (more like toast than a nice chardonnay) so it really made me giggle when he came home and very ceremoniously introduced our dinner. Here's mom, getting acquainted with "Simon" and Robin, showing his appreciation for Simon and Rosie.

I think I've said it before, but it's worth saying again...as sad as I am sometimes to live far away, I find the visits that we have with family and friends now to be more substantial and meaningful than the few hours we might spend together if we still lived a short drive away. I definitely wouldn't change spending days or weeks with the people we love, sharing the ins and outs of our every day life and making really special memories of these early months of Caleb's life for anything.

Meet & Greet by Nana Phaure

2008-06-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

My mom journals everything (I wish I had the discipline...and the time!...to do the same) and after we got back home, she sent me her entry from the day of the "Meet & Greet" at her house and said it would be all right if I shared it on my blog. So here you go:

May 25, 2008
Preparations were well underway days before this blessed event. Papa Ian searched long and hard for balloons with Caleb's name on them, to no avail. He put on his thinking cap and decided if he couldn't buy them he would create his own. We broke out the permanent markers and let our creative juices flow. Initially he decided he would line either side of our road with personalized balloons so there would be no doubt as to there the welcoming committee resided. This apparently was only the beginning; he then proceeded to construct a balloon covered arch for Mommy and Caleb to walk under at the entrance to our home. Then he placed a seven foot banner over our garage door which read "It's a boy" as if the entire neighbourhood didn't already know the baby was a boy and his name was CALEB.

He did an amazing job, he really wanted Mommy and Caleb to feel very special and know just how much we had looked forward to their arrival. I could tell Caleb was very impressed.

Meanwhile Nana was busy in the kitchen preparing munchies for the many guests who arrive to admire our beautiful grand-son. Papa had done all her shopping in advance so all Nana had to do was prepare the food, easy-peasy. Lucky Nana!!

We both had trouble sleeping the night before we were so excited. Tina and Scott arrived early so they could help with the last time preparations. Of course the men had to be fed before any real progress could be made so Tina volunteered for the job. She made scrabbled eggs, bacon and toast, so with satisfied tummies the men went full steam ahead. In no time at all we were ready. Where were Mommy and Caleb?

The guests of honour arrived right on time. Nana and Papa were in heaven. If there was a down side to this whole event it had to be our increasing concern with the mosquito situation. Ian had purchased and experimented with numerous contraptions which promised to eliminate our mosquito infestation. They were all tried and returned except one and to be honest I was really having my doubts about this one as well.

We quickly ushered poor Mommy and Caleb into the safety of our home and the hugs and kisses began. We had almost two months to catch up on! Caleb had gotten so big and was even more beautiful than we remembered, Mommy looked amazing too.

Not long after their arrival our first guest arrived. She was Wendy's grade six teacher and Tina's grade five teacher. Her name is Mrs. McCarthy and she and her hubby came from Pickering to reconnect with Wendy and meet Caleb as well. It was wonderful to see her again and she would be pleased to know she hasn't changed a bit. She was an amazing teacher and was such a positive influence for both Wendy and Tina. She will always hold a very special place in all of our hearts. The next guest to arrive was Janet and her two adorable children. Janet was Wendy's grade ten teacher and would later be her rugby coach. Wendy has been so blessed with strong, positive role models throughout her life. Janet's daughter drew a beautiful picture for me and it now decorates our refrigerator. Once my girl friend Nanny arrived with her grand-son Cameron then Janet's son had a playmate. They put on their life-jackets and bravely went outside to check out the fishing situation. The big guys went with them because by this time the noise level inside was escalating.

Nancy and I have been friends for a very long time and I was excited to see her and Gary (it had been awhile since our last visit). Nancy's son Brian and his wife Michelle joined us as well (they are Cameron's parents).

I think Dan and Cathy Reynolds were next to arrive driving a convertible with the top down, oh no! Unfortunately every time a vehicle drove into the drive the mosquito's swarmed our poor unsuspecting guests. They were all so brave and I am sure that if it hadn't been for Wendy and Caleb's presence they wouldn't have been so determined. Thanks to everyone for making this a very special day for Papa and Nana, one we will not soon forget.

The next guest I remember arriving was Shelley. She looked amazing and she has been part of this family since she was eight years old. She was eight when Wendy was born and practically lived at our house. She was Wendy's big sister, she played with Wendy, dressed her and allowed Wendy to pee and spit-up on her as well. She made an outfit in home-ed for Wendy when she was two and Wendy wore it in her first fashion show. Shelly is married now and has two beautiful girls of her own. Their names are Elizabeth and Katherine. They were not able to attend but sent lots of hugs and kisses.

Our friends who live next door (Stan and Norma) arrived to be introduced to our grand-son. They were suitably impressed and only stayed a short time as they were on their way out. They had witnessed all of Papa's preparations and were anxious to see what the fuss was all about. It's about this time that things get a little fuzzy for me. There were so many people arriving I simply couldn't keep track of all of them. Papa and Scott had been busy cooking hamburgers for our guests and I was busy organizing the rest of the food. I'm not sure if it was the food that made me think of Robin, but I remember thinking, "I sure wish Robin was here." He would have been so proud. I could over hear people saying time and time again, "Oh boy, Caleb looks just like Robin."

When Daryl arrived Wendy was nursing the baby so he joined us on the front deck and we caught up on his news. He had gotten his mom to go with him to Baby Gap so she could help him pick out the prefect outfit for Caleb. Good job, Daryl!

Next I remember Denise and Rob (Ian's sister & hubby) and Dave and Malissa (Denise's daughter & hubby) arriving. Malissa is pregnant and due in October. I think Denise is more excited about the baby because it has been a difficult pregnancy for Malissa.

Our friends Peter and Joyce arrived to meet our grand-son. They were suitably impressed. We were then joined by Mary-Lou, she lives next door and was anxious to meet Caleb as well.

I was pleasantly surprised when my sister Bonnie and my niece Jennifer arrived. They had not responded to the invite so I wasn't expecting them. Bonnie and I hadn't seen each other for sometime so we took time to catch-up on our news. We introduced them to Caleb and then went out on the deck for a visit. Jennifer had brought her dog Bailey so we were outside so she could play. She is only nine months old and is a beautiful golden retriever.

I'm not sure where the time had gone but when Tina and Scott said they had to leave soon to travel back home, I realized I hadn't even made dinner for them. I was so upset, they had a three hour drive ahead of them and they hadn't had any dinner. I had been so busy all day I hadn't even had time to visit with Tina. She had moved away two weeks ago and Ian and I have been suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome." There have just been too many changes to quickly this year, it has been difficult coping. We said our goodbyes and then they were gone. I wanted to cry but I still had a house full of people so I just focused on the task at hand. We had promised Tina and Scott we would come to Eganville next week-end to help Scott build a deck, so I just kept thinking of all the fun we were going to have messing up Tina's home, ha! We don't get mad Tina, we get even!

There were many more guests but I had a hard time staying focused, time was just moving way too quickly and I was starting to dread the thought of Wendy and Caleb leaving as well. Why couldn't time just stop for a while?

When the last of the guests finally left Caleb decided he had had quite enough. It was approx. 7:00P.M. and this shindig had started at 11:30A.M. Caleb had been willing to be passed from one person to another all day long but now all he wanted was his Mommy and a nice long sleep.

Wendy drew a nice warm bath while Nana snuck in some cuddle time. Caleb certainly enjoys his bath time and Mommy didn't seem to mind either. The bath did the trick and after a quick massage preformed by Nana (while Mommy got dressed) Caleb had a snack and immediately fell asleep.

Now it was Mommy's turn to relax. We made a drink and retired to the screened-in gazebo on the deck so Mommy could get some fresh air (she had been tucked away safely inside all day) and now she wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet of the great out doors, minus the mosquitoes.

It was heaven. Finally we could just sit quietly and have a conversation with Wendy. Both Ian and I miss her and Robin so much. This was definitely another time when Robin's absence was apparent and I remember feeling sad that he could not be here. He will have to tolerate serious hug-time when they come back in July. We will be counting the days until their next visit.

Ian BBQ'd a pork tenderloin (the emphasis on tender), grilled potatoes and broccoli/cauliflower with cheese sauce (not the best choice). What was Nana thinking? The next day Caleb was probably going to pay for that mistake, I felt so dumb! Wendy complimented the chief, a job well done Papa! Great company and great food, what more could we ask for! Tina had bought a tub of Mint-Chocolate ice cream for her and Wendy to share but that hadn't happened so we just left it in the freezer. Another time maybe!

After dinner (approx 9:30P.M. by now) we jut relaxed and had a wonderful visit. Wendy called Daddy and he was feeling very lonely. He was really missing his wife and baby. We know the feeling well, Robin.

The next day Nana and Papa would have the opportunity for some serious cuddle time with Caleb, thank-you so much Mommy. Nana bonded with Caleb while Mommy was in the shower and Papa was busy making breakfast for us. Wendy was going to ask which one of us was going to make her breakfast but she thought that would have been rude.

Wendy needed another piece of luggage in order to pack some of the gifts Caleb had received the day before. Caleb now has enough new clothes to last for quite awhile, he received many beautiful outfits. Papa helped Wendy repack the car and we all knew that dreaded moment was fast approaching. God I hate good-byes.

Papa spent some time hugging Caleb but now the time had come to put him in his car seat. Wendy gave Papa a lesson on how the new car seats work and after making sure that Caleb was fastened in properly we all headed to the car. The car quickly filled up with those cruised mosquitoes so Nana didn't have the opportunity to give Caleb one last kiss, but she noticed Papa managed to sneak one in, good job Papa.

Fortunately Wendy couldn't see that as she drove away we were both crying. It is so wonderful when they arrive and so painful watching them leave. We both prayed that God would keep Wendy and Caleb safe, knowing in our hearts that he would.

NINE WEEKS AND COUNTING

Ontario v 2.0

2008-05-31T21:06:00.000-04:00

May 21 - 28, 2008
Ottawa
Caleb and I travelled back to Ontario at the end of May again, this time spending a week all together in Ottawa, Peterborough and Toronto. We started out in Ottawa, spending 3 days at Grandma's place. The first night we were there Robin's aunt Susan came over to meet Caleb as she was leaving the following day for Italy (I think) and would not be able to attend the open house that Robin's mom had planned for the next evening. Caleb was pretty tired and cranky by then, but it was nice that he was able to meet his great aunt.

The following day Grandma, Caleb and I drove up to Eganville to see Auntie Tina's new digs! It was a very exciting day because this is Tina and Scott's first house and I was really happy to have the chance to go up and see it and spend some time with Tina. She prepared a lovely lunch of egg salad sandwiches (one of my favourites, second only to grilled cheese) and salad with watermelon for dessert (I opted for ice cream since I hate watermelon almost as much as cucumbers!). I don't have any pictures of that day because I think we took them all on Tina's camera...so Tina, if you're reading, maybe you could send them to me. In the evening Robin's mom had planned an open house for her family to come over and meet the newest member of the Tomkins (Stewart) family. Mom's friend Magg came early to help get things set up and soon the house was full of family members - Robin's uncles Brian and Bruce and his aunts Nicole, Deborah and Diane all came by to welcome Caleb to the family.

The next day I was very happy to get a chance to spend the better part of the day with my friend Molly and her son Etienne. We stopped for brunch at a neat little French bakery where the waiter looked at me like I was from another planet when I asked for lactose-free milk in my cafe au lait and at Molly like she had two heads when she asked for low-fat in her (urm...NO...only whole milk). The food was delicious and the company even better and I resisted taking home any of yummy treaties that filled the glass display cases in the front of the store. We walked around and shopped in the market for a while and took some great pictures...which of course, are all on Molly's camera :P I love spending time with Molly and I get many of my mommy activity ideas from her and she always knows how to plan an enjoyable morning or afternoon with a good balance of mommy and kiddie activities. We concluded the day with a visit to my Uncle John and Elizabeth's house for dinner with them and Elizabeth's son Ben (sadly, no pictures on anyone's camera...I really dropped the ball in the picture-taking area on this trip!).

The Wedding
On Saturday morning we got up bright and early to head out for the main event (well, the orginal purpose anyway) of the trip to Melissa and Jeff's wedding (May 24). Melissa and I have been friends since we first skated together in the Winter Blah Busters (I did the spiral while she showed off her best sit spin I think?) when we were 11 so there was no way that I could miss this occasion. And finally! some pictures:

Caleb's wedding outfit was courtesy of his Grandma Stewart; it was a stylish little beachy dress shirt over a navy onesie with a pair of khakis. Suzanne came as my date/babysitter to the wedding. It was awesome to spend the day with her and Caleb was on his best behaviour so we all really enjoyed ourselves. Melissa was SO excited to meet Caleb. I took him in to introduce him to her before she got all dressed up in her wedding gown and then she cut in on the dance floor later for a few more cuddles and pictures when the threat of baby spit-up wouldn't have such dire consequences. For those who don't know her, Melissa loves babies and small furry animals the same way I love ice cream...

Meet & Greet
On Sunday we headed to my mom and Ian's place for a "Meet and Greet" that my mom and Auntie Tina had arranged. Many of our friends and family were able to make it to meet Caleb and stay for a visit. I was grateful that the visitors were staggered for the most part as trying to spend time with too many people at once is pretty overwhelming for me. Among the guests were my grade six teacher, Mrs. McCarthy and her husband, Janet and her children Caitlyn and Gregory, Daryl, Cathy & Dan, my cousin Jennifer and Aunt Bonnie, a few of my mom's neighbours, Ian's sister Denise, her husband Rob and daughter (who's expecting in Oct) Malissa and her husband Dave, and mom's friends Nancy and Gary Roach and their son Brian, daughter-in-law Michelle and grandson Cameron. Patrick and Erin where also able to drop in for a surprise visit on the way home from their cottage and Amory, Al and Bailey arrived after most other people had left, just in time for Caleb to get really cranky about all the people holding him and not enough sleeping. Shelley was able to make which was a really fun experience since she's known me since I was born and remembers all kinds of crazy things about me when I was a baby. It really means a lot to me that we've stayed friends my whole life and that I could introduce her to my son. After everyone had gone we had a little time to spend with Tina and Scott before they had to head back home to Eganville and around 9pm I think I finally had Caleb to bed and sat down to enjoy some dinner and a Guinness with mom and Ian. What a day! My mom journalled her impression of the day as well so I'll follow up with a post of her perspective on the day.

Great-Nana, Grandpa & Grandma
On Monday I took Caleb to Bowmanville to visit his great-Nana in the hospital. Dad met us there and we all went in for a visit. She looked wonderful and I was so happy that Caleb was more awake and alert than the last time we visited. Nana was able to hold and play with him and I'm so happy that Caleb is getting to know her! Here are a couple pics from that day:

We spent Monday night at my dad & Mary Ellen's house and after dinner Sean and Alicia came over for a visit. Unfortunately Caleb cried most of the time they were there but Alicia was finally able to calm him (even when Mommy couldn't!)...she was a total natural :) The next morning we had breakfast and then Caleb and I headed back to Bowmanville for another visit with Nana. This time we found her in the exercise room. The physiotherapist let Nana cut her exercises a bit short so we could spend some time with her so we all went back to her room for a visit before Caleb and I headed off to Toronto.

Toronto, Hamilton & Home
On Tuesday after leaving the hospital we went downtown to have lunch with Katrina, Jodi and Madeleine from work and then spend some time visiting people in the office. Caleb was very well behaved and had fun hanging out in Patricia's chair while people came by her cubicle to say hi. After many days of being held and handled Caleb really needed some independent time...why not a chair on wheels? I introduced Caleb to the favourite office pastime of "coffee" (we went with Darryl) and tested out his SQL skills. I don't think he's quite ready for a position as client analyst, but maybe one day.

True to my old bad habits, we were late arriving at Whelan's Gate for drinks with a few of our Toronto friends but thankfully miniature people seem to soften Andre and he wasn't too annoyed with me...although he was waiting a while I think :S Dan Bell, Ryan and Jovie also met us for Caleb's second bar outing (yep, I'm a great role model). Jovie looks understandably nervous in this pic because Caleb decided to show her how good his lungs work...poor Jovie. And doesn't Andre look like a natural? :)

After Whelan's Gate we spent the night at Madeleine & Dave's house. Dave got in some good practise cuddles (their little one is due at the beginning of Dec) but Caleb made Madeleine nervous. In her defence, he was pretty cranky and cried a lot by the time we got to their place. Really he just needed a good night's sleep...which he got.

On our last day in Ontario we stopped into the Clarica Centre to say hi to some of me and Robin's former coworkers. I had coffee and breakfast with Kathy (and regretted not being able to see her Robin!) and then headed up to the 12th & 14th floors for some hellos. And last, but not least, we headed to Hamilton for a visit with Natalie and Hannah (and Jonathan, who came home just as we were leaving for the airport!). Here are some pics of Caleb wooing Hannah (or perhaps the other way around!):

I spoke with Robin's brother Jeffrey while I was in Ontario and he said he had been talking to Robin. Apparently Robin had been telling him how lonely he was and how much he missed us and Jeffrey found this very atypical of Robin and wanted to know what I'd done to his brother. I was definitely sad that Robin wasn't able to come with us and by the time we were on our way home I was very anxious to see him and be back home. The flight home could have been better but overall travelling with a 2 month old was pretty easy. We were treated really well and the airline people are all very helpful and understanding when you block up aisles and knock things around because you're trying to negotiate the transportation of a suitcase, carseat, playpen AND a baby...phew.

Auntie Visits!

2008-05-18T14:47:00.000-04:00

My sister Lori came for a visit at the beginning of May. I wasn't sure whether she was going to be able to make it out before the end of the summer so I was really excited when she said she could take a few days off work and come to see us. We picked her up from the airport on Monday at noon and she was here until very early on Thursday morning.

I think the highlight of her visit was our trip to Alexander Keith's for the brewery tour. Caleb was definitely the youngest tourist there, but actually not by much! There was one other baby on the tour; she was 7 months. Caleb is learning early to "like it a lot" and Lori and I had a great time exploiting the little guy afterwards...it's always fun to have pictures to tease him about later in life.

We also spent lots of time just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. Lori, being an enthusiastic and talented photographer took lots of pics while she was here...

This one is of me and Caleb outside the judge's cabin on Kinsac Lake. We took a walk here one of the days that Lori was here. It's a nice walk and we enjoyed sitting by the lake while Whiskey played around in the water.

There's Auntie Lori enjoying some cuddle time...she's such a natural :) And then there's Lori's "prison shot". She thought he looked funny through the bars of the crib and decided to make it look like he was jailed in there. The way he cries when I put him in there for a nap these days, you'd think he was a prisoner!

Finally, Auntie was gracious enough to take some professional shots of Caleb for us and they turned out great!!! We have a frame that we got from Robin's cousin Alyssa and her husband James as a wedding gift and it's going to make the perfect display for the "hands", "feet" and "naked baby" photos (as soon as we get around to printing them!)

I could never have imagined before how much fun and how special it would be to spend time with and share my little son with my sisters. It's such a new and different connection with them for me and I'm so happy that they were both able to come and spend a few days with us and get to know their new nephew...they're both going to be such an important part of his life :)

First Mother's Day

2008-05-12T14:39:00.000-04:00

Robin and I agreed ahead of time that we would rather not get into buying each other elaborate gifts for mother's and father's day but that we obviously wanted to mark each other's special day somehow. Robin did an excellent job (with a little help!) at planning a lovely mother's day.

Robin and Caleb both got me cards and Caleb also got me a little kit to make a stone for my garden that could have his hand and footprints in it (which I still haven't managed to make!). He also planned a lovely dinner of our favourite meal - stroganoff. Aside from a very cranky little baby, it was a perfect day :P Caleb's sour mood turned out to be my own fault for eating broccoli for dinner the night before. A mistake I would not make again soon, despite my love for the vegetable.

A few other people joined in to make the day extra-special for me: my mom and Ian arranged with Robin to get a gift certificate for a facial for me (bliss!) and my sister Tina had schemed ahead of time and hid a very touching card among my cookbooks for me to find on the appointed day...so thoughtful!!

Have Soother, Will Travel

2008-05-05T14:32:00.001-04:00

The past month and a bit has been pretty busy for us...some brief updates:

April 23/24 --
Just as Caleb was preparing to enter his second month of life, we decided to make a very special trip to introduce him to his great-grandma Dorothy May, who lives in Ontario. Grandpa took care of the flight arrangements and we enjoyed Caleb's first-ever plane ride in style - executive class style! While I enjoyed the free movies, meals (with real silverware, not the plastic stuff), beverages, and warmed face towels Caleb enjoyed a longer than average cuddle with Mom and LOTS of attention. It was a quick overnight trip, but gave us the opportunity to visit Nana a few times and hang out at Grandpa and Grandma's house in Sunderland.

While staying at my dad's house Caleb spent some time hanging out with his Grandma Mary Ellen and as she walked him around the house she stopped to show him a picture of my Nana and Papa (my dad's parents) that hangs in the hallway of their house. Caleb is always very alert and interested in what's going on around him, but he stared at that photo so intently, even for him. I'd say it was just the contrast of the frame on the wall or something but he didn't react that way to any of the other photos in the hall and each time she showed it to him he did the same thing. In his own little baby way he must have sensed that he was looking at 2 very special people.

In the middle picture above he's hanging out in the hospital bed with his great-grandma for the first time. At the time, a cast on her left arm prevented Nana from holding him, but Caleb was quite happy to lay beside her and nap peacefully while we visited. It was a major life moment for him, me and Nana I think. The picture on the left is Lori, Nana, Caleb and I and the one on the right is of Caleb getting some cuddles from Grandpa. This reminded me of pictures of my own Grandpa holding me and my sisters as babies in his recliner. My grandpa went through as many La-Z-Boys as he did Buicks in his lifetime (many), so it's not the exact chair...but close enough :)

April 25-28 --
My dad and Mary Ellen came to visit us in Halifax for a long weekend. It was a really difficult decision for my dad to be away while my Nana was still in the hospital, but fortunately my mom and sisters were there to visit and keep her company. The weather that weekend took a turn back to being on the cool side and pretty cloudy. We had been experiencing some very atypical weather for Halifax in the weeks prior to that, but mother nature decided to welcome my dad and Mary Ellen with some very typcial cold and wet east coast weather. Nevertheless, we found lots to do and enjoyed the weekend together.

The picture on the left is of Caleb hanging out in the "infant feeding seat" side of the high chair that grandpa and grandma got for him. The whole thing flips over into a normal high chair seat. My dad pointed out that breastfeeding him would be difficult in the infant feeding seat....I said why? I can just lean over him! :P The one on the right is of Caleb with Grandpa and Grandma at lunch on the they day they left to go back to Ontario. Unfortunately, he was feeling a bit crabby just at the moment we wanted to take some pictures.

April 27 - May 2 --
Robin had to go to Toronto to finish a management course he's been taking for the last couple years so Auntie Tina came to stay with Caleb and I for the week to make sure I didn't have a nervous breakdown being on my own. As much as I missed Robin, it was really great to have Tina here and spend the week with her. She was a huge help and became masterful at changing diapers, calming a screaming baby and sleep-time cuddles...that last one is a really tough job to swallow :P

Here's a little video of Tina and I having some fun trying to get Caleb to have some tummy time (he hates it). It ended a little cruely with Caleb getting frustrated and Tina and I laughing at him for trying to eat the pillow...

I won't go into detail about everything that Tina, Caleb and I did that week but it was the best week I've ever spent with my sister. There was a massage, walks every day, lots of shopping, but the most memorable part was just having her here and sharing each day with her. Really sappy I know, but I think as we get older and our lives change, it's comforting to have such a great connection with someone who's been a part of my life for my whole life.

And finally, the week after Tina left, Robin, Caleb and I finally had some time to ourselves. We really enjoyed and appreciated all our visitors but it was nice to have some time as a family and to start trying to get into a normal routine.

Next up, May: a visit from Auntie Lori, mother's day, and mommy and Caleb in Ontario Part II.

Baby in Action

2008-04-19T20:09:00.006-04:00

Here's a little video of Caleb in his stroller/car seat after a nice long walk. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day here today and we enjoyed it by taking a walk in the forest behind our house that leads to Kinsac Lake and then washing and cleaning the cars. We are total suburbanites.

Although his movements are still pretty relexive and he doesn't interact with us much yet, Caleb's still pretty adorable...if you ask me :P

Our friend Peter came over for lunch today as well. Robin and Peter have known each other since elementary school and he's one of our few friends in Halifax. Robin made caprese salad, soup and tuna melts for lunch but I think Peter most enjoyed the homemade butterscotch chocolate chip cookies we had for dessert :) He met Caleb for the first time last Sunday after church when we had brunch in his restaurant, the Armview, but this was a more relaxed meeting and he actually had a chance to hold him; Caleb didn't seem to mind.

While I grocery shopped and Robin prepared dinner (2 meals in one day!!) Grandma and Caleb enjoyed some quality cuddling time before she heads home to Ottawa tomorrow.

Week 3: Firsts

2008-04-18T18:26:00.004-04:00

We had a few interesting "firsts" this week...first time at church, first movie, first shopping trip, first cloth diaper...

Robin's mom has been with us for the past 2 weeks getting to know her new grandson and helping me out with meals and cleaning and keeping me company during the day while Robin is at work. Robin was born and raised in Halifax and his mom lived here until about 8 years ago when she moved back to Ottawa (where her family is from). She has many friends still here and was anxious to provide an opportunity for some of them to meet Caleb. While she lived here, she was a regular attendee and enthusiastic choir member of St. James' Anglican Church and invited us to join her for last Sunday morning's service. Having not found a church home of my own yet, I was more than happy to oblige, Robin reluctantly obliged, and Caleb didn't protest. He sat quietly in his carseat, perched on the pew next to Daddy through the whole service and, after a quick eat and diaper change, went about charming all of Grandma's church-friends. It went so well that I'm anxious to take him again as we begin the search for a new (more local - St. James' is not very close to our house) church.

On Wednesday morning, Caleb and I went to the movies for the first time. The Empire Theatres at Dartmouth Crossing have a "reel babies" program every second week and this past Wednesday they were showing Smart People, a film I was eager to see. I packed Caleb up in his carseat and off we went. The theatre was packed! We sat near the front next to another, older baby boy and his mommy. Caleb was great! A good sign for his film-enthusiast parents :) He slept through most of the movie - too bad because he missed out on a great performance by his first actress girlfriend, Ellen Page - and only woke up once to eat and then straight back to sleep. I can't imagine that he'll be that quiet and easy for very long, but while he is I'm definitely going to keep taking advantage of "reel babies".

My friend Melissa is getting married on May 24 and Caleb and I are planning a trip to Ontario for the occasion. We both needed new outfits for the event so yesterday Grandma, Mommy and baby set off for Mic Mac Mall in search of the perfect attire. I have to confess that shopping for a cute baby outfit is way more fun than shopping for anything for myself so of course we came home with an adorable little get-up for Caleb...and nothing for mommy. Well, not nothing but nothing suitable for a wedding (I got a couple of t-shirts from Roots and a couple of nursing tops). Caleb did not enjoy shopping nearly as much as church or the movies and he cried and fussed on and off most of the time we were out (I suspect Robin of coaching him). I'm not so easily deterred though, especially since I still need to find a wedding outfit for myself eventually!
And finally, after 3 thorough washings as instructed by the manufacturer, we tried out our first cloth diaper this evening. I have a boatload of cotton prefolds, 3 bamboo fitted diapers and a small selection of pocket diapers. The bamboo ones are kind of the Cadillac of cloth diapers (which is why I only have 3) and I couldn't resist tucking him into one for our very first cloth diaper test-drive. The thing looked huge on him and after jamming him back into his little (and now snuggly fitting) track pants I held him up for Robin's inspection. He laughed and said "now you not only have Mommy's eyes, you have her butt too!" Nice. We haven't had a diaper change yet so I can't say how the cloth diaper is holding up but I'm hopeful. I'll take a picture tomorrow when he's not sleeping and post for everyone to see how cute he looks.

See...it's huge :)

Week 2: Who Doesn't Love a Routine?

2008-04-14T12:17:00.016-04:00

With our intial breastfeeding issues (mostly) sorted out, Caleb packing on about 2 oz per day and mommy getting enough sleep to function (mostly) normally without napping the whole day away, we seem to be getting into a pretty comfortable routine. There were a couple of nights around the 2 week mark where the little angel thought it might be fun to play between 2 and 5 am - eat, change diaper, fuss, rinse, repeat - that was thankfully short-lived as a small adjustment to the order of operations seems to have resolved the situation. Phew.

Weekdays sorta go something like this: 9am - noon - get out of bed, eat, change diaper, shower, dress both of us, eat, cuddle, nap; noon - 2:30/3:00pm - change diaper, eat, nap (mommy checks email, etc.); 3 - 5pm - walk, change diaper, eat, wait for dad to get home (mommy watches hunky curtis stone on "take home chef"); 6 - 7pm - play with dad, change diaper, eat; 9:30 - 10:30pm - get ready for bed, eat, pack it in for the night; 1:30 - 2am - change diaper, eat, back to sleep; 4:30 - 5am - change diaper, eat, back to sleep; 7 - 7:30am - say goodbye to dad, maybe change diaper, maybe eat, maybe just cuddle and go back to sleep. Of course there's some variation (some days I just can't seem to change his diaper frequently enough!!) and I try to work in some laundry and errands here and there. Grandma (Robin's mom) is still here, so cleaning hasn't been my problem so far but eventually the honeymoon will be over and I'll have to add some time in our day for keeping the house in some kind of order. I suppose that shopping online and indulging in reality tv will likely have to take a backseat to vacuuming and cooking.

The "Pack 'n Play" that we planned to use in our room for Caleb to sleep in for the first few months didn't quite work out as planned. It needs to be moved each day from our bedroom into the living room (so he has somewhere to nap during the day) but it's too big to fit through the doorways. So every morning and evening we were having to dismantle the whole thing to move it. I tolerated it for the first week mostly because Robin was home and he was the one doing all the moving but once he was back to work I'd only had to move it myself a couple times before insisting that we come up with some kind of alternative. We decided to go ahead and buy a crib and change table and put it in our room until it's time to move him to his own nursery. Caleb's great-grandma sent him some birthday money and we decided, on his behalf, that a crib would be a terrific birthday present! So far he doesn't seem to disagree...

Bath time was a bit stressful for everyone involved at first. The first couple of times we tried to give Caleb a bath he was pretty displeased with the whole process and screamed and squirmed from the moment we started undressing him to the moment we had him snuggly wrapped in his cute little hooded bath towel. We have one of those little baby bathtubs and tried to make it a pleasant experience - water temp good, lovely calendula baby wash, massage with baby oil afterwards - but Caleb didn't seem to appreciate any of it. I mentioned this to Kelly when she was here one day and she said the water probably wasn't warm enough and that really, babies much prefer being submerged (well from the neck down anyway) in water, rather than sitting in one of those little tubs. She suggested having him either take a shower or bath with Robin (in a pinch I would do as well, but she said this could be a nice bonding experience for baby and dad) so the next time bath time rolled around we imposed on daddy's few quiet moments in the bath. I'm definitely not allowed to post the pictures (I was shocked to even be allowed to take them in the first place) but it was a much more enjoyable experience for everyone, and especially for Caleb. He seemed to love being surrounded by the water and he just completely relaxed and floated in the water. It was really amazing! Unfortunately for daddy, our little guy relaxed a little too much and pooped in the water...thus bringing an abrupt end to bath time. But we will not be deterred so easily and plan to continue with the co-bathing...so, anyone need a baby bathtub??

This week I plan to take Caleb to see Smart People at the Darmouth Crossing Empire Theatres on Wed morning. I'm sure he'll love Ellen Page! Everyone I've talked to that tried this said to go early on rather than waiting until the baby is a few months old as he's more likely to just nap through the movie rather than getting restless and fussy. I asked Kelly if it was too early to go and she said no, that as long as I felt up to it, it should be fine. I'm anxious to see how our first non-medical related mommy-baby outing goes!

Week 1: The Human Cow (Tackling Breastfeeding)

2008-04-12T20:18:00.006-04:00

Caleb is a remarkably calm and quiet baby; really, we couldn't have asked for anything better. There were a couple of nights when he seemed to have the idea that it would be fun to stay awake and play games with Mommy between 2am and 5am, but that was thankfully short-lived. In fact, in the first week of his life I worried a lot that Caleb was a little too quiet and slept a little too much. It was very difficult to wake and keep him awake for feedings every couple of hours and I was becoming very frustrated and worried that he wasn't getting enough to eat. At first, he had been great about latching correctly and eating well but since getting home and my milk coming in he had gotten lazy about latching and was only eating for 10-15 mins at a time. Our midwife Kelly reassured me over the phone that if he was still having lots of wet and dirty diapers that everything was fine and that she would weigh him on Sunday (day 11) when she came for a visit.

I tried not to worry but after a couple of days of this behaviour persisting my nerves were shot and found myself starting to feel like I had in the hospital, that I was somehow failing to meet my little baby's simple needs. I got some good advice from Natalie, which was to start tracking his eating and elimination again (we had to do this the whole time we were in the hospital) because she found it reassuring to know that everything was on track in terms of frequency and number of feedings per day and number of wet and dirty diapers. This did indeed help as he scored well above average on all of these counts. I sought advice on the La Leche League forum, scanned through my Ultimate Guide to Breastfeeding by Dr. Jack Newman and watched videos online of proper latching techniques. Nothing I could find seemed to be completely applicable or particularly helpful.

To be honest, by the time Kelly visited on Sunday I was a nervous wreck. Aside from the extreme sleepiness, Caleb seemed to be doing fine but I still couldn't help worrying. Kelly got out her scale to weigh him and to our amazment he weighed in at just under 8lbs - a gain of 7oz in 4 days. So the conclusion is that a) Caleb is a very efficient eater (anyone who has ever eaten with Robin will know that he comes by this honestly) and b) his mom is pretty much a human cow (Kelly joked that I must be producing pure cream; I told her Caleb's on the full-fat diet).

Kelly also spent some time with us working on latching. There are some things that are just so much easier to resolve with hands-on help than by reading books or watching videos. A couple of minutes and a few good suggestions about positioning and pumping and we're all (okay, mostly) sorted out. All of the books and everything we'd been told or shown so far was based on a handful of positions (cradle, cross-cradle, lying down, football hold) with no variation. Kelly explained a new approach to positioning that's less structured, something about "nurturing". Basically I put Caleb on my chest and he roots around until he finds my nipple and latches on himself. The result is not always neat and tidy like the holds traditionally used, but it seems to be working for us. He's generally upright, which helps with digestion and reducing gas, and it's much less of a fight at every feeding to get everything the way it's "supposed" to be.

This is also much easier and manageable for my still-numb hands. I can't say enough how glad I am to have a great midwife!!

Day 1-4: The Hospital Stay

2008-04-12T19:31:00.003-04:00

We were lucky enough to be moved almost immediately from our cramped semi-private room to a private room and it was a good thing we did because we ended up spending longer in the hospital than anticipated and, quite frankly, with the way I've started snoring it was a good thing we didn't have a roommate! Initially things looked pretty good for us to be going home on Friday (day 2) but when Dr. Atkinson visited us she was concerned that Caleb had a little jaundice. They did some bloodwork and the nurse came back around noon to let us know that his bilirubin levels were well below the acceptable level at 130 and that we should start packing up to go home. We called my mom to let her know and she headed to the hospital to pick us up, leaving Ian at home to prepare a special coming-home dinner. But just before my mom arrived to pick us up the nurse came back and (with the same chipperness she'd given us the news that we were being discharged) informed us that she'd actually made a mistake and mixed up Caleb's blood test results with another baby's and that actually his bilirubin levels were quite high at 199 and that we'd have to stay and have further bloodwork and that he might even need to have light therapy.

I know that mistakes happen and that no one is perfect but I was angrier at this nurse than I've been at anyone for a very long time. Even now, after my hormone-driven emotional reaction to the whole thing has subsided, I'm still shocked at what happened and can't quite comprehend the carelessness and neglect demonstrated by this woman. I was absolutely heartbroken that we would not be going home, that Ian had gone to all that trouble to prepare a special meal for us, that they were going to prick and prod at my little baby for the 3rd time that day to squeeze enough blood from his little heel while looking at me accusingly and annoucing "he's really quite stingy." It was all I could do to refrain from cursing at everyone who came into our room and, overcome with disappointment and feeling like I'd somehow failed him, I started bawling every time I looked into Caleb's innocent little face.

Subsequent bloodwork showed that his bilirubin levels were continuing to rise and he ended up having to spend about 36 hours in the "billy bed" but fortunately one of the portable beds was available and he was able to stay in the room with us.

Between the light therapy, lots of frequent feeding, and time sitting in the window soaking up some sun Caleb's bilirubin levels started to plateau and we were finally allowed to go home on Sunday (day 4) on the condition that we return to the hospital the following morning for more bloodwork. My mom and Ian had already gone back to Ontario on Saturday, so we never did get to have our coming home celebration meal but we're looking forward to making up for it when they're here again a few weeks from now.

It's My Birthday...

2008-04-10T15:59:00.003-04:00

and I'll feel indifferent if I want to? Hm.

I think this must be what other adults feel like as their birthdays approach each year. Normally the anticipation as April 11 nears is almost more than I can handle. I get so excited I often become giddy and have been known to, on more than one occasion, announce to total strangers that "it's my birthday" with an unreciprocated grin. In past years at this time I've been quite resigned to feeling like a 6 year old trapped inside an adult's body. I can't say why this is the case; perhaps my mother's unwavering dedication to celebrating our birthdays as if my sisters and I are still 6 years old has something to do with it. We are all now well into our twenties and my mom unfailingly has an ice cream cake, balloons and prezzies for each of us to celebrate our birthdays. Well, except that year that she got ONE ice cream cake for Tina and I to share. She won't make that mistake again as I'm pretty sure the event ended in tears over someone eating all of the red balloons off the cake to spite the other. I know what you're thinking here, and NO the obsession over birthdays has nothing to do with me just acting like a child about it.

Anyway, this year things feel quite different. Fourteen days ago I gave birth to my son; it still feels like his birthday. And I suspect that this is the way it will be, year after year, from now on. I'm okay with that. I needed to grow up sometime and I kinda knew that having kids would probably do it. When I found out that he was due so close to my own birthday (his due date was in fact my own birthday) I just knew it was fate saying "time to behave like an adult; you're not getting any younger you know."

So now on the eve of my birthday I'm actually having difficulty remembering that it is in fact my birthday tomorrow. When I think of tomorrow I think of our midwife appointment, the delivery of our missing bar stool from the Brick (sometime between 10am and 1pm), and the usual feed, change diaper, cuddle routine that's become my day to day existence. I even have trouble saying "my" now...mostly I think of everything as "our" or "we" and it's definitely not the royal "we". There's two of us now, doing almost everything together - including sharing my birthday apparently :)

Caleb Noble Buhlman Stewart

2008-04-05T09:42:00.009-04:00

Born March 27 at 1:19 am; 7lbs 11 oz

I was admitted to the hospital on Tues when we went in for the nurse visit and biophysical profile for pregnancy induced hypertension. I'm not really sure why, if resting at home all weekend didn't bring my blood pressure down, they thought that a sleepless night in the hospital would do me any good. Through the night my blood pressure remained elevated and by Wed morning it was up a little more. I wasn't showing any other signs of pre eclampsia (disturbed vision, headaches, protein in urine) and my blood work was consistently coming back normal. The ob gyn on the floor explained that in this situation, either the blood pressure stablizes or things get worse and since my bp wasn't stabilizing and I was past 37 weeks, he didn't want to risk having things turn south all of a sudden, potentially resulting in an emergency c-section. I didn't really want that either. So after a very brief discussion we agreed (well really he informed me and I didn't protest) that they would induce labour using prostaglandin gel. I laid there thinking that I should call Robin, who had gone home overnight and hadn't yet returned, or possibly my midwife (Maren) to see what she thought. Just as I was sorting through this in my head and digesting the fact that my baby would be born sometime in the next couple days the nurse came in to give me the first dose of the gel. Feeling pretty overwhelmed and a little frightened, I just laid there worrying about whether it had been the right course of action...but it didn't matter much since there was no going back. Robin called shortly after that but I didn't tell him that they'd induced me, I just barked at him that he better hurry up and get to the hospital (he was about an hour and a half later than he said he'd be already). Then I called Maren and explained what was going on. She agreed that it was for the best since avoiding a c-section was a priority; I felt much better knowing that she was okay with the induction.

Robin arrived a little while later and by then it felt a little anti-climactic giving him the news. He said he kinda already figured by the way I reacted to him being late. I started having some contractions after the first dose, but nothing to write home about and eventually they subsided when I decided to take a short nap. The second dose came around 4pm and right away I started having more intense contractions that became more regular in a short period of time. By 8pm I was feeling pretty uncomfortable. My mom was also there by then and I said to her and Robin "I think my water is going to break." I sat on the edge of the bed with the call button in my hand and sure enough, my water broke. I called Maren right away, who was coming from Lunenburg (about 1 1/2 hours away).

From then on things became a little fuzzy for me and the next 5 hours until Caleb was born seemed to go by very fast. The contractions were quite intense and getting closer and closer together and by 10pm they were only about 2 mins apart and the nurse was preparing to take me down to the birth unit. Maren had not yet arrived but it hadn't really occurred to me to be worried. I knew that, being very practical, competent and experienced, she would find us :) She actually arrived just as we were heading out of my room. Apparently she and Robin had a chat about our birth plan (or rather, made one up just then) as Maren was actually our back-up midwife and we had not yet had a chance to go through any of that with her. It was right about this time that I started feeling the urge to push. We had been instructed by our midwives in the Labour and Birth Talk to work with the feeling and push when we needed to. This is not the very active type of pushing that you typically see in the movies or on tv, but it is helpful in moving things along (or so I'm told). So I went with it as best I could.

We got down to the birth unit and I was grateful to be able to get out of the wheelchair and back into bed. In the weeks leading up to this event, I thought I would want to be able to walk around and maybe even use a bathtub (if at home) or birth tub during labour. When the time came, this was definitely not the case. I had been lying on my side since my water broke and was very anxious to get back into the same position once settled in the birthing room. I didn't want anyone to touch me and I spoke as little as possible; my eyes were squeezed tightly shut for most of it. I can't say when exactly the deep breathing escalated to screaming, but the next day my throat hurt an awful lot so I suspect it was pretty early on. I remember the resident who was there with Dr. Atkinson (the doctor who works with our midwife) asking me how I was doing for pain and if I needed anything. Robin and Maren replied on my behalf simultaneously and very bluntly: "she's fine." I remember thinking "that's not what I was going to say" but I guess they probably knew that. They also knew that what I really wanted was a natural, drug-free birth so it's good that they were there and on top of things.

At some point, which I think was around midnight but can't be sure, Maren and the nurse got into an argument over whether I should be pushing or not. The nurse was telling me that she had to make sure I was fully dialated, otherwise I would have to stop pushing. I was lying there thinking "you missed the boat on that one, I've been pushing for a while now". Maren came over next to me and told me to just keep doing what I was doing and not worry about it. I was pretty oblivious, but Robin said that there was a fair bit of tension between them. Maren had Dr. Atkinson come in and check me and she said it was fine to push (which I'm certian Maren knew would be the case despite what the nurse said) and this is when that more active type of pushing began. I remember a fair bit about this part of labour, but will spare everyone else the details. It was not pretty, quite painful and really just sort of something I would rather stayed between me and the people who were there to witness it.

After about an hour of pushing the baby's heartrate began to drop as his head had been stuck partway out for a while (there's a bruise on his head still that clearly indicates exactly where...I try not to look at it). I was having to push even when I was not having a contraction, which I think was by far the worst part of the whole labour. Dr. Atkinson explained that they'd done everything they could to try and get him unstuck but that she thought it was best if she "made a small cut". Yes, well...if you must. At that point I was most interested in having it over and not doing any unnecessary harm to my baby. I was surprised that there was almost no incremental pain associated with this procedure (and no, there was no freezing or anything) although I was aware of it happening. With the next contraction and push Caleb entered the world all at once. It was the greatest feeling of emotional, mental and physical relief I have ever felt. I told Robin later that I think of all the things I wish he could experience about labour and birth it would be that moment.

Robin had been hoping to cut the umbilical cord but because Caleb was in distress the resident cut the cord and the baby was taken across the room immediately to be checked out by the NICU team. He was having some trouble breathing on his own and they had to respirate him a little. Normally babies in this kind of situation are admitted to the NICU automatically, but fortunately he recovered well and Dr. Atkinson promised that she would be keeping an eye on him so he was allowed to remain with us. Robin held Caleb first after he was born which was fine with me since the resident and nurse were still working away through the delivery of the placenta (second worst part of labour and birth!!!) and making sure everything was normal with me. This was still very painful and I was kind of glad to not have to worry about holding a baby and experiencing all that at the same time. As soon as they were finished they brought him over to me and I got to hold my son for the first time. I didn't feel elated or any other particular rush of emotion; just content and glad that he didn't look too gross. Soon Maren came to help me try to feed him for the first time. It was a bit of a struggle, she said probably because the first thing that went in his mouth was the aspirator and he was having some negative associations. It took a while but eventually he latched on and ate a bit. Everyone waited patiently through this because I still needed some stitches and the nurse needed to do some more tests on Caleb. I was grateful to them and Maren for helping me because it was important to me that I try to feed him as soon after birth as possible. A week into his life I can't say it has made breastfeeding any easier or anything, but I hope it was at least beneficial to him in some way.

Around 3am I took a shower, had something to eat and we were wheeled out of the birthing unit and up to the maternity floor for our first night together as a family.

THE END

Bedrest

2008-03-21T17:07:00.002-04:00

On the eve of our 37th week of pregnancy we found out that my blood pressure has crept up above what our midwife and doctor are comfortable with and I'm now on strict bedrest. Dr. Atkinson suggested crosswords (woot), needlepoint (yippee), and reading (okay, I do that anyway) as ways to amuse myself beyond napping and tv-watching. As soon as I get over being a cranky-pants about it I plan to add calling all the people I haven't talked to since we moved to that list (I'm thinking a chat with a friend or two will be more entertaining than needlepoint anyway).

I was a bit freaked out about it at first because the combination of severe swelling (check), high blood pressure (check), and protein in the urine (all clear) can be indicators of a serious condition called pre-eclampsia. While almost no one (mother or baby) dies of pre-eclampsia, it often results in induction of labour and necessitates a hospital birth (which we were decidedly leaning away from). However, since getting the news that all my bloodwork came back normal, the biggest inconvenience about it is the bedrest.

If my mom being here was a nice-to-have before, we're now suddenly not quite sure what we would do without her. It's such a relief to have her around, taking care of business and keeping me in line and on the couch.

Any Time Now...

2008-03-10T21:01:00.011-04:00

...would be just fine with me for this baby to decide to make his entrance into the world. But really it's still a little too early I guess. I had a visit from my midwife this past week because I was having a lot of unusual pain (I'll spare the wider reading audience the exact details that only the grandmothers-to-be really want to know) and it would seem that the baby has dropped and is preparing for the big moment. Unfortunately, these preparations can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks...so here I am, bound to the house because I'm not allowed to walk further than the end of my driveway and unable to accomplish the many tasks that remain before baby arrives because I'm not allowed to (nor can I stand to) be moving much more than waddling from the couch to the bathroom.

We want to make it to 37 weeks (I'm 35 weeks + 3 days today) because then we maintain the option of having the baby at home. We continue to be undecided on this but have our appointment with the ob gyn on Thurs and will hopefully be able to make a decision after that. Our midwife will be on vacation from Mar 18-28 so we may end up with our back-up midwife attending. We're both okay with this since we also really like our back-up midwife. She's exactly how we both imagined a stereotypical midwife...a little older and very hippy. Her German accent doesn't hurt either :P If gentle coaxing and encouragement doesn't get me through a drug-free labour and birth I can totally picture her barking at me in scary German-accented English to convince me that "YOU WILL DO IT. YOU ARE DOING IT. ONLY YOU CAN DO IT". (Yep, she really said those words at our birth talk)

My mom is coming next Saturday for a week to help me with all the things that I still want to get done. I was surprised by the sudden and overwhelming "I want my mom" feeling that came over me when I realized that labour and birth are imminent. Luckily one quick phone call and a visit to aircanada.com put me at ease and her on a plane within days. My mom seems pretty excited to be coming to help me and I know is secretly hoping that the baby will be born during the week that she's here even though it will be a little early. I'm really looking forward to having her here.

The pics are for everyone who has been asking for "belly pics" and isn't on Facebook...

Where's the Pause Button?

2008-02-27T08:33:00.005-05:00

I was telling Robin last night over dinner that for the first time I was feeling a bit freaked out that in about 6 weeks we're going to be parents. I think it's because until now I've really only been thinking about me becoming a mother and let's face it, I've been "mothering" people since I could talk. But when it occurred to me that WE'RE going to be PARENTS...well, I started to feel a little apprehensive. What's that going to be like? I'm going to have to actually figure out how to share responsibility and decision making about this other little human life...who's idea was this anyway? What ever happened to that plan to have 10 kids and live with my mom so I didn't have to share them with a husband? Maybe that wasn't so crazy after all... (right mom?)

In the book I'm reading on birth and labour - recommended by my midwife, titled Birthing From Within (yep, it's as touchy-feely as it sounds) - it says that every time a child is born, a mother is born. I'm not sure I agree entirely with this...I kinda feel like I started being "born" as a mother when I got pregnant. Most of what you go through during pregnancy is preparing you in some way for being a mother. I note in particular the worrying. I'm a worrier already, but the amount of worrying I've done throughout my pregnancy is probably more than I've worried the entire rest of my life! Then I realized that this was just the beginning...if my mom is any indication of the degree to which I'll worry about my children, then my pregnancy worries are just the tip of a gigantic iceberg. But that wasn't my point...what I was getting at was, what about the birth of the father? Or our birth as parents?

So the book has an entire section on fathers and, after having read it, I'm not sure that I have any more insight into the moment at which or how a father is born. Hopefully once the baby is born this is something Robin will be able to reflect on and help me understand, but it doesn't seem to me that he was "born" as a father when I got pregnant and I'm not sure that I think the physical emergence of our child into the world will necessarily bring about that moment either. It's probably something that happens over time...maybe in the first few hours? days? after the baby is born. Maybe there is a moment...I don't know. So how does that work if I feel like I was "born" as a mother before or after he feels like he became a father? When do we become PARENTS?

635 High Road, Fall River, NS

2008-02-22T14:46:00.014-05:00

Now that we have some furniture and most of the mess is put away or shoved into a spare room I took some pics of the house. Whiskey has always loved giving "the tour" so here she is...

Our New House

...click on "slideshow" once you get to the album link.